The flower and the spy
by little-angel-of-hell
Summary: A short while after Severus Snape has become headmaster. The end of the war is growing closer as is Severus' death, and he knows it. The closer he gets to seeing Lily again, the more he thinks of their story.Because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey :) so my first sev and lily fic. I never really liked this pairing but could not get this story out my head and I think they're beginning to grow on me. So what do you think ?**

**Oh and its set a little while before the end of deathly hallows.**

**Xoxo lil angel**

**Summary:**  
**A short while after Severus Snape has become headmaster. The end of the war is growing closer as is Severus' death, and he knows it. The closer he gets to seeing Lily again, the more he thinks of their story. **

**Pairings:**  
**Severus/Lily (one sided)**  
**James/Lily**  
**Sirius/Many people**

**Warnings: character death, angst**

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_Because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it? -James Patterson_

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Severus Snape sat alone in his rooms. Unlike the rest of the dungeons they were not dark and gloomy. His walls were a pale silver colour with a green carpet he was after all a slytherin. A large fire cast a cosy glow over everything making it look warm and safe. Pictures hung around the walls of different people. A thick black rug was in front of the rug and on top of it 2 armchairs made of a rich fabric.

In one of these chairs sat the potions professor. In one hand a glass of dark brown scotch, an empty bottle was resting on the floor not far away. The other was turning the pages of a photo album which rested on his legs. His dark eyes devoured the pages taking in every word and photo as if they would vanish.

He had been given it as a present from his mother when he first received his acceptance letter he had been so happy. Immediately he had ran to meet lily and show her the gift and the two had spent the afternoon filling in the first page with pictures of that summer.

An inscription on the first page cast Severus' mind back to when it had been wrote. Lily had bent over the book her long hair brushing its pages and he watched curiously "what are you doing?" Lily looked up at him amusement glittering in her green eyes, "Sev, silly, I'm writing who's in the picture and when it was so that years and years in the future we can show people when we first met, duh." Severus' eyes widened slightly before happiness took over his face,"you really think were going to know each other in years and years?" Lily hugged him before smiling, "of course Sev your my best friend we will always be together." Lily closed the book and looked thoughtful before bending over again and writing on the front cover finishing with a flourish she handed the book back and with another quick hug she ran back to her house.

The older Severus closed the book and stared at the words as if they were taunting him " The story of us..." With a sigh he stood up and left the room laying the album on the table. "What childish nonsense."

But his last thought before he went to sleep was that of his childhood friend. "Why did you have to lie lily"

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**So review :) short I know others will be longer :)**

Xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

**Soo :) 2nd chapter :) wish me luck**

**Lil angel xoxo**

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3 days later Severus was again looking at the photo album. His eyes lingering on a picture of a deserted and run down playground. This was where he had first spoke to her. He could still remember it clearly after all these years.

Past-

It was the 4th time he seen her and he knew today was going to be different, he had planned on talking to her the last 3 times but never gained the courage. Today would be that day. It was a bright, sunny day. Severus was sitting next to the deserted playground. Not many children lived in Spinner's end and the ones that did, didn't come this far. This was for the posh kids. The families with money. Their they were. The two girls, sisters, swinging at alternative times on the old swing set going backwards and forwards. The younger girl started to move faster her red hair swinging behind her as the elder shuddered to a halt.

'Lily,don't do it!' She shrieked as the girl got higher. Severus stared in amazement as the girl let go as the swing reached its highest point and flew through the air, staying up for a couple of seconds before landing delicately on her feet further from the swing then was logically possible. 'Mummy told you not to!' Petunia, as he had heard her called, was staring at the other girl, hands on hips and eyes narrowed. 'Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily'

Lily stood still giggling at her stunt. Her laughter filled Severus with happiness. 'But I'm fine. Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do.'

Severus saw the two girls glancing around and moved deeper into the bush to avoid being seen. Lily started heading in his direction causing him to hold his breath which he let out with relief when he spotted what she was doing. Picking up the flower Lily made it open and close its petals.

'Stop it!' Petunia shrieked again causing the young boy to wince in annoyance.

Severus rolled his eyes just as Lily spoke as if reading his thoughts.'Its not hurting you'

'Its not right,' but both Severus and Lily noticed how her eyes followed the falling flower,'how do you do it?' Severus smirked at the longing in her voice. With out thinking it through Severus stepped into view.

'Its obvious isn't it?' Severus winced again as Petunia shrieked. It seemed to be all she could do. A small smile lit his face as he noticed Lily hadn't followed her sister to the swing set. Then he realised just what he was wearing unable to hide the blush that rose to his cheeks.

'What's obvious?' Lily asked causing Severus to smile yet again. He glanced over at Petunia wanting her to leave but as she didn't he had to make do with whispering. 'I know what you are.'

'What do you mean?' A puzzled look covered her face.

'You're...' Severus didn't want to seem rude but couldn't think of any other way to say it.'You're a witch.' Seeing the look on her face he knew he'd made a mistake.

'That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!' And she flounced towards her sister.

'No!' He blushed more as he realised how loud he shouted, the sun making him warmer, as he walked towards the girls.

Both girls were now holding on to the swing set causing Severus to pause less he frighten them further. Facing Lily he continued. 'You are. You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mums one, and I'm a wizard.'

He turned to Petunia as she let out a laugh that sounded oddly like a horse.'Wizard' she shrieked again, her eyes wide with recognition.'I know who you are. You're that snape boy! They live down Spinner's End. By the river.' Her voice was smug and Severus narrowed his eyes as she continued. 'Why have you been spying on us?'

Severus only just managed not to turn bright red.'Haven't been spying.' The look on her face showed that she didn't believe him.'Wouldn't spy on you anyway, you're a muggle.'

Petunia glared back at him,'Lily,come on, we're leaving!' Severus smirked, happy she was leaving until he notice Lily following in her footsteps.

-present-

Severus shook his head at the memory. He had felt so stupid when Lily had left. He had, had it all planned out. What to say, what to do. But his nervousness had ruined it all. He had been so scared that she would never return but 3 hours later as Severus was still wallowing in pity she had appeared. So perfect and vulnerable as if one loud noise would frighten her off, but her face held curiosity. They had talked for a while her asking about the wizarding world finally accepting what he said as the truth. The fact that drew Severus the most was that even when he removed his coat showing off his mismatched clothes beneath it Lily moved on no pity in her gaze just acceptance.

He even remembered the moment when he first felt the sparks between them.

-past-

Lily picked up a stick and began waving it, drawing patterns in the air. Dropping the tool she lent towards him.'It is real,isn't it? Its not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. it is real,isn't it?'

'Its real for us,' us. The word felt nice on his tongue,'not for her. But we'll get the letter,you and me.'

Lily leant towards him as she whispered,'really?'

Leaning closer himself he took her hand in his own. 'Definitely.'

Then the moment was gone but Severus knew he'd never forget it. The moment he realised Lily was his.

-present-

Severus still felt it as he stared down at the other 3 pictures on the page. One of him, one of her and one of a small cluster of tree's. As the young Lily smiled and giggled up at him, his heart felt the same thing it had all those years ago. A constant pain like electricity jolting him awake. A nice pain. One that said this is real. His body filled with the same ache to hold her and make everything okay. If you focused on the clearing you could just make out a missing limb on the tallest tree. The tree that ruined his perfect day.

-past-

'And will it really come by owl' they were both still whispering, sharing the secret.

'Normally, but you're a muggle born, so someone from the school will have to come explain to your parents.'

'Does it make a difference, being a Muggle-born?'

Severus knew the answer, his father mentioned the differences enough that it was drilled into his head. But seeing the girl in front of him, eyes filled with curiosity and happiness, he couldn't bring himself to crush her dreams. 'No, it doesn't make a difference.'

'Good.' As she relaxed Sev knew he'd made the right choice, desperate to change the conversation he said the first thing he could think of, 'you've got loads of magic. I saw that. All the time I was watching you...' Noticing what he had admitted he shot a panicked look at Lily who was busy lying down not paying any attention.

'How are things at your house?' She had heard all about it from her parents and Petunia and when asked Sev had spilled the real story. A small frown appeared on his face, before he decided to lie again.

'Fine'

Lily looked surprised,'they're not arguing any more ?'

They continued talking for a little while. The sound of his name on her lips making him smile, But Severus knew it wouldn't last much longer. As if on cue Petunia appeared from behind a tree.

'Tuney!' The happiness in Lily's voice at the sight of her sister caused anger to grow in Severus.

'Who's spying now?' What d'you want?'

He could see the older girl racking her brains for something to say. Just as he was beginning to smirk she finally got a reply. 'What is that you're wearing, anyway? Your mums blouse?'

Without realising Severus felt anger explode from him and was just able to catch sight of the branch hitting Petunia.

'Tuney! Did you make that happen?' Knowing there was no right answer Severus tried to defend himself.

'No'

-present-

Of course Lily hadn't believed his lies, it had taken weeks for her to talk to him again but eventually they had made up after she accidentally made some rocks fly at him causing bruises and bumps. They had spent as much time as they could together, sneaking from one place to the other. Severus finished his scotch before running his hand over Lily's face. He would never forgive himself for what had happened. he deserved everything he got. Severus only hoped Lily would somehow be able to understand why he did it.

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**Told you it would be longer :) I love taylor swift :) **

**Xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well 3rd times the charm I guess :) soo tell me what you think :) **

**Xoxox**

**Lil Angel**

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Lucky. Severus knew the Definition.  
Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions. But he didn't believe it was his own actions.

He was in the same park that he had been in all those years ago. It was Christmas and as he returned to his house he had an overwhelming urge to visit the place. The same old play thing rested among the weeds and grass. As he moved closer his heart froze. There on the swing was a red haired girl going faster and faster her arc getting higher looking eerily similar to his lily except this girl slowed before hopping off and running into the distance. The small swing still creaked backwards and forwards in the light breeze.

It had been her favourite thing to do when they were younger. Even as time passed Lily couldn't not run up to any swing set she saw in her path. But Severus could never deny her when she looked so free and laughed with such joy.

She had been swinging when his mother had first met her. The old women had walked up and introduced herself. Later Lily had claimed that the woman looked like a queen. She was so close that it made Severus's heart break. Eileen Prince was one of the richest and most influential people around and a pureblood to top that. That was until she met Tobias Snape after a long engagement they had finally been wed and his true colours had emerged.

It was that night after seeing lily that he first realised what had happened. He didn't realise whether this was the first time or it had happened before. He didn't know if it happened very often or if he was around when it did.

A large bruise covered his mothers eye and was quickly beginning to purple as she held a cold dish cloth to it.

Severus knew that in that moment Tobias Snape was going to pay for hitting his mother.

His mother must have seen the look in her son's eyes for she pulled him into a conversation to find out everything about Lily that he knew. They talked for hours and till after the sun had set.

When he was about to fall asleep his mother had paused at his door and said that it was his luck that helped him to have found someone when he was so young.

Luck.

The success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.

His mother said that is was his luck

But he knew it wasn't.

It wasn't luck at all

It was all Lily.

She was his luck and would control his actions.

And even after all these years he still believed it.

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**Sorrrry its so short :( **

**Please review**

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**My head hurts :( so be happy you got this chapter :P Ani-Padmeforever thank you for the follows and favourites I really really appreciate it and the review :) **

**Lil Angel. Xoxo**

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As he waited for the new term to start he glanced down through the tower window waiting for familiar red engine to appear and just like so many times in the past month he found himself thinking of her.

He had been making a solution adding his memories to a small section in his brain ready for collection. He couldn't work out what made him do this but the feeling was strong.

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Severus was running down the corridor searching for the familiar mass of red hair. He had lost track of her at the station as he saw her arguing with her sister. He would have went looking for her sooner but was desperate to get out of those rags that his father forced him to wear. He wanted them together her spot was next to him.

He was beginning to panic as he got closer to the end of the train when he finally saw her. Examining the compartment he hesitated before opening the door his desire to see her overwhelming his fear of the two boys.

When she looked at him he felt as if his heart would break. The red rimmed eyes made him want to hold her and say everything would be okay but before he could she spoke.

'I don't want to talk to you,' Her voice was rough and hushed as if she was still fighting off the tears.

'Why not?' He was genuinely curious.

'Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore.' If he was honest Severus couldn't see any problem with this.

'So what?' The look on his face made him realise he'd said the wrong thing.

'So she's my sister!' There was the feisty lily he knew how to deal with.

'She's only a - " he cut that thought off quick before continuing.'But we're going! This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!'  
He could hear the excitement in his voice.

The small smile on her face made his excitement grow.

'You'd better be in slytherin.' He didn't know what he'd do if they were in different houses.

'Slytherin?' An obnoxious voice came from behind them. Upon turning Severus saw a small black haired boy with hazel eyes and glasses. His clothes and manners screamed wealth and Severus couldn't help but feel jealous.

The boy continued seeing that he had their attention. 'Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?' The boy next to him just stared at them all.

'My whole family has been in Slytherin.' This boy reminded Severus of his mother and the way she held herself in the same manner. If this boy was like her he may give him a chance.

'Blimey, and I thought you seemed alright!'

At this the aristocratic boy smiled and Severus knew they wouldn't be friends.

'Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice ?'

Lily seemed interested so Severus allowed himself to stay longer for her sake. As the boy raised his arm and quoted Gryffindors motto he rolled his eyes and scoffed gaining his attention.

'Got a problem with that?'

Severus instantly went on the defence by trying to explain 'No. If you'd rather be brawny then brainy-"

He frowned as the longer haired boy cut in on him.'Where're you hoping to go, seeing as your neither?' His frown got worse as the boy with glasses roared with laughter. His retort was lost when Lily jumped up from her seat.

'Come on Severus, let's find another compartment.' Sev smiled, this was what he wanted in the first place. He glared back at the loud noise the two boys made.

'See ya, Snivellus.' Severus went to stop but Lily's hand in his urging him forward kept him moving.

They had chatted the rest of the train ride and Severus couldn't wait for the year to begin.

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He sighed seeing the children line up in rows before marching to the school. There would be no friendship making on the train, no laughter, no running down corridors. Just fear and order.

Speaking of, it was nearly time for him to reach the hall. Usually he had to decide to add a memory but all ready he could feel the strong links knitting together like threads. He barely had time to sit on a nearby desk as he was locked into the past.

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'Evans, Lily' she looked so nervous that Severus couldn't help but feel sorry for her as she stumbled up to the stool. Professor McGonagall placed that hat on her head.

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**R nd R please :)**

**Xoxo**


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